Updated: Aug 29, 2019
I have this terrible problem. It can be debilitating and makes life so difficult for me. It causes me to second guess myself, lose sleep, worry over every little thing I’ve done and said all day long. It causes me so much stress. It’s exhausting!
I want everyone to like me. I want people to like me, I want my horses to like me, I want my family to like me and be proud of me.
But all day long I tell myself I’m not good enough or smart enough or skinny enough or _____________ enough. You name it I’m sure I’m not good enough at it. It’s exhausting.
All I want to do is help people. It pulls at my heart when I see or hear of someone having trouble, feeling frustrated or confused and I want to help. But there is something about me that makes people think I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know what it is but I get called “stupid, ignorant, an idiot, etc, etc” and people just don’t take me seriously. I don’t expect people to do everything I say because there are so many ways to achieve any end goal, but there are things that are just plain easier if you have a mentor to help. I’ve had so many wonderful mentors in my life that made learning about horses easier. I just want to help others in this way. In fact that is why I started this blog.
I share things that work and don’t work hoping to help people save their hard earned money. I share the good, the bad and the ugly here hoping my stories and hardships will help others. No one person can have all the answers but if we work together we can figure things out and help our horses and each other.
The biggest thing may be having people actually listen. If people would listen without prejudice, without thinking about ways to make each other wrong, without thinking about what they are going to say next, problems could get figured out much faster. When people get defensive and or just shut down after asking for help it doesn’t help them or their horses.
Horse ownership is complicated. There are no short cuts. They are very delicate for such a large animal. They have different digestive systems that get out of whack very easily. And things are always fine until they aren’t! Horse ownership can be very lonely if you can’t let others in to help. If you feel you can’t work with one person I really encourage you to keep reaching out to find someone you are comfortable listening to and getting help from. Even if it’s not me 😉
I don’t try to make people wrong if they don’t listen to me. Usually I just quit reaching out and offering help. But I feel so guilty about that. Then I feel like the horses suffer. It’s so hard to let that go. Does anyone else have this problem?
Maybe someday I will learn that having people like me isn’t important at all. Maybe someday I won’t let others opinions about me matter. I certainly hope so! If there is someone out there that would like to help me and be my mentor I’m ready 🙂
I am willing to take a lot of crap if what I’m doing is in the best interest of my horses. I do march to the beat of my own drummer and am often over here doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing. I just don’t always feel good about myself while breaking my own trail. Sigh.
So, I will admit it. I want people to like me. I want people to listen to me.
And I also want to be the person who doesn’t care if people like her. Who can let it go when people don’t listen.
I want it all!